What are you thinking about right now?
I mean, there’s a better than average chance you’re wondering about pink elephants.
Don’t think about pink elephants.
No, seriously. Whatever you do, put the thought of pink elepbants out of your mind.
…
Chances are, your thoughts are still upon rose-coloured pachyderms. Or maybe that candy coated popcorn. (Do they still make that? Hang on…yes, they do. I haven’t had any of for decades. Turns out it’s Lucky Elephant. It’s the popcorn, not the elephant, that’s pink.)
Still thinking about pink elephants (or popcorn?) It’s just the way the mind works. When you actively try and not think about something, you are, in effect, thinking about it. It’s just the way the mind is wired. And often times, those pink elephants are patterns of thoughts that we get into that emphasize all our faults.
And thinking about the things we’re not supposed to think about can lead us to problems.
If you’ve ever ridden a bike or driven a car, you know that where your eyes go, there your body will follow. If you look at the ditch, chances are you’ll wind up in the ditch.
But if you keep your eyes on where you want to go—keep your eyes looking at your lane, at your path, chances are you’ll wind up hitting that path.
In psychological terms, this is called flipping the thought. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the desired outcome. And by focusing on the desired outcome, that outcome becomes much more likely.
It’s not magic, though. This is not name it or claim it or anything like that. It’s just…setting out a road map to help you achieve what you want to.
Going back to our earlier driving metaphor, Formula One (F1) drivers will walk around the track to get a sense of the track layout.
The website thedrive.com quotes Jean-Eric Vergne, describing the importance of a track walk.
“It might seem a bit odd and I think some people outside F1 wonder what a driver can learn from walking around rather than driving, but it really helps get you orientated,” said Vergne. “You learn the bumps, the cambers, how the curbs are set up, which ones you can attack, and which you might have to leave alone.
“You spot your marks for braking and start looking at possible lines. It’s an important part of the process. Sometimes you don’t even notice what you’re picking up, but your brain is taking in all this information and it’s surprising how much comes back to you when you drive the track for the first time. Often it’s like you’ve driven the track before.”
But of course, that quote was in a story about how the two top drivers at the time—Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen—didn’t do track walks. But both have their own approach to learning the tracks and preparing their minds for the race, so the metaphor stands.
And of course, if all the drivers are doing track walks, it is not a guarantee they will win.
Another thing you can do to keep yourself from focusing on problems is to, well, is to think differently about the problem.
Let’s say you struggle with self-confidence. And you think to yourself “I’m a failure.”
If you keep thinking that thought, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. But what if you thought “hmm. I appear to be having the thought that I’m a failure.”
Suddenly, the thought is not about you being a failure, but about the thought that you’re having. Thinking yourself a failure can make you feel like a failure. Thinking about why you’re thinking that you’re a failure changes the way you think about the problem. It can allow you to be more analytic.
It can also lead you to become exhausted and caught in a rut about thinking about thinking about thinking about why you’re a failure.
So if that strategy doesn’t work, you can always just let go of the thought. Therapist Marina Harris suggests treating negative thoughts like you might a pop-up ad on a website. Click to close.
“When a thought comes up,” says Harris, “visualize it as a pop-up ad. Acknowledge the thought — don’t suppress it, but just notice it and acknowledge that it’s there — find the X, and refocus your attention on whatever you were doing before the thought came. You can even visualize a big red X in your mind and “click” the button to minimize the thought. You can even label it. You can say, ‘Oh, there is my anxiety spamming me again.’ Or, ‘I’m noticing this ad is trying to sell me on the thought that I’m a failure. But I don’t have to buy it.’”
Another way to treat pink elephant thoughts, especially specific ones, is to take the next step. “What if I try this and fail?”
Well, what happens? Does your life end? No. (Unless you were trying to jump the Grand Canyon on a ride-on lawn mower, but if you tried that, you probably have bigger mental problems…) What are the consequeces? Walk through them. Understand them, accept them, and move on.
And if all this doesn’t work? Get outside. Get some fresh air. Enjoy the sunshine. The forecast is for double digits all weekend.
Spring is springing. A few weeks early, true, which means fire season will be here sooner rather than normal, too, but that’s a worry for another day.
Go, stand outside, close your eyes, and just breathe.
Trent is the publisher of Tumbler RidgeLines.