Falling is not an unfamiliar activity for Rose O’Neil.
The former Tumbler Ridge resident—now on Vancouver Island—is a long distance mountain runner. While taking a tumble while running on the uneven footing of a trail is common enough, for O’Neil, it is exacerbated by the fact that she only has one leg.
“I ended up getting a prosthetic lower leg—very much to my surprise—in 2019 as a direct result of domestic violence in my first marriage,” says O’Neil. “My body gave out on me and I was rushed in for emergency surgery with a diagnosis of Cauda Equina—compression of the lower back nerve roots due to a history of trauma.”
She was rushed into emergency surgery, but during the operation, her nerve bundle was nicked, causing severe nerve damage to her right leg. “Upon waking I was told the damage was so serious I would never walk again.”
That led to 11 months of rehabilitation in the hospital. “I believe the nurses were happy to see me go, I was arranging wheelchair races with the other patients who were all seniors. The prize was my daily dessert.”
But, after nearly a year, she walked out of the hospital. Fall, rise. Move on.
Shortly after being released, she got a cut on her heel, which she describes as “inconsequential.” Her body, however, didn’t agree. “Due to the nerve damage sustained, it wouldn’t heal, opening larger and deeper.”
For four years, O’Neil struggled to heal the cut, but it got worse and worse, finally settling into the bone. “For the last two years, nurses were coming to my house daily to change dressings. Multiple surgeries and medical procedures did nothing to help.”
Through it all, she kept going. Fall down. Get up. Continue on.
But after four years, she developed four bone infections at the same time, and she made the decision to lose the leg. “I told the doctor it was time to amputate. I wanted my life back if at all possible. We were not sure if the amputation would heal, if it reached my hip, I was out of options. However, I was making the choice on how I was going to die not anyone else so I rolled the dice.”
On July 4, 2019 the doctors removed O’Neil’s lower leg, and she once again had to re-learn to walk—“third times the charm,” she says.
But, says O’Neil, she gained so much more than she lost in the leg: clarity and perspective.
O’Neil’s passion for mountain running was born in Tumbler Ridge. In 2009, she ran her first Emperor’s Challenge. “The EC was my first challenge as a woman whom the town of Tumbler Ridge believed in. I finished last and there were still so many that stayed to congratulate me.” (She crossed the finish line in 4:26:47. There were four people who crossed after her.)
The next year, she did the race in 3:30, even, cutting nearly an hour off her time. In 2011, she again cut off the better part of an hour, finishing in 2:37:46.
She ran the race one last time in 2012. Ten years ago. That was her fourth Emperor’s Challenge. Her next race would have gotten her a perpetuity bib. That never happened.
That is, until this year.
2022 marks her return to Tumbler Ridge, and to the Emperor’s Challenge course. “This is a milestone race for me in so many ways,” she says. “I will receive my perpetuity bib for five years as well as compete in an extremely challenging race as a lower leg amputee.”
Will it be easy? Not a chance. “I know full well I will be covered in bumps, bruises and most definitely bloody at the end,” she says. But she’s not worried about that. “The restarting in life or this race as an adaptive athlete doesn’t phase me much. There will be demons, physically and mentally telling me that I will not succeed. Being stronger than those voices is the only way forward. So, for me, crossing the finishing line will be beyond explanation. Starting will be terrifying. Finishing will be a gift. I know the people are supportive and so amazing, I cannot think of a better race to attempt for my first mountain race back as an adaptive athlete.”
She says this is her first mountain race. It is not her first race. She recently attempted to do a 50 km ultra marathon. “I would of made it however my prosthetic leg broke on me. Made 30 km very proudly before limping off the course.”
Prosthetic leg breaks. Fall. Get back up. Limp off course.
O’Neil has only been back to running since the start of this year. She only got back to walking two years ago. “The healing process is slow and arduous for an amputation,” she says. “My determination to run regardless, even when I couldn’t walk for four years, has kept me sane. The injury completely disabled me in every sense of the word. I was housebound, in constant pain.”
But while the pain is still there, she at least is able to move. “I was without mobility for so long, sitting still wasn’t an option,” she says. “My thoughts are simply that when you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing. If something goes wrong, it’s a reason to complain, it’s a time of self-pity. That won’t get you anywhere. Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge — it’s an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something.”
Does she feel envious of the other runners who will be competing with two legs? “Envy prompts one to feel inadequate, incomplete, impotent and missing out and I am none of that! While some things might be out of our control, much of what happens is based on our thoughts, emotions and behaviors, and are largely a conditional response to our focus. Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier, or thinking they can’t feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. I lack nothing! I am whole. I am happy and I am perfect exactly as I am.”
Unlike the prosthetic she broke doing the ultra marathon, she’ll be doing the Emperor’s Challenge with a blade-style running prosthetic.
“It is what is termed a dual blade due to my other activities,” she says. “I can go from hiking to running to walking with it and not have to worry about changing blades. It is lighter and more nimble than the heavier walking foot so it is what I wear 99 percent of the time.”
She says the way modern prosthetics work is by way of a one way vacuum system that allows any air that has entered into my socket to be expelled through a one way valve. This is supposed to stop ‘pistioning’ (where the leg moves up and down in the socket), which is painful and causes damage to my limb.”
She says it is working fairly well, but she and her team is still working on finding a perfect solution. “Due to being so active—I’ve put 1656.38 km on it since January 1 of this year—I have a tendency to wear parts out or break them.”
And sweat, she says is her mortal enemy. “It can rip up my leg inside of my socket and take me down for weeks. Due to this I have to wear silver lined socks to help wick sweat, but I am still changing them out every hour or so to avoid blisters, injuries etc. When I do the Emperor’s Challenge, I will be carrying a personal first aid kit and multiple socks to ensure I get where I need to be. It also takes me three times the energy to do anything mobility wise than it did before due to having to utilize all of my body instead of just certain parts. Running is not smooth and not knowing where my foot is makes me have to have eyes on the ground at almost all times to avoid serious injuries or falls. When you run you are supposed to look ahead to be biometrically correct in body posture. I am still learning as I go. However, I do not have the limp associated with lower amputees. I have worked extremely hard and continue to work daily for this to remain the case.”
While each day is a struggle, O’Neil is grateful for what she has. “While I used to dance in the light with two legs; I appreciate my ability to see clearer in the dark dancing with one. Perspective is everything. I have fallen many times in training and will do so again. Getting back up and carrying on is not a question for me. It is a lifestyle.”
Trent is the publisher of Tumbler RidgeLines.
